508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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