yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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