the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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