I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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