thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
