party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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