Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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