Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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