Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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