Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
