i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
