i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
