I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She told me I should be a condom model.
being pregnant is like rehab
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
