i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
