found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
