life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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