Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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