I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
