I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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