try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
