I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
