put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
