I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
