Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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