Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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