I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
