Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
