So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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