i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
