wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
