Say something about gay babies.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Welp...herpes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm too high and old for this...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
