The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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