Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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