whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
