yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
