thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize