i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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