I am puke
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
