Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
