She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
