dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
