it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
