Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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