She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
