Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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