So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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