Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
