the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
