The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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