Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
